I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
