Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
