We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
