Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
