so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
only if we run a train.
done.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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