I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
