if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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