This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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