josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
