I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
