No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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