hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
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