That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
