Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
