The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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