I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
