I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
