Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
