He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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