so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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