How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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