Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
