I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
