I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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