woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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