the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
