I looked at my own cervix.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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