I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
nutella sex= disaster
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
