You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
