It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
