No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
