hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
