You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
