Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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