you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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