Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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