the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
