So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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