so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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