YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just threw up on my dentist
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
