apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
