But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
