Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
