Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
