i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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