dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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