whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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