Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
