i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
