just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Randomize
