I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
