Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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